10 OMG reasons why INSANE MUGS are the nastiest coffee mugs on the planet!

1) Insane Mugs offer their “insane” mugs (or whatever) to only human beings (aka Homo Sapiens), specifying very clearly that they aren’t supposed to be given away to Zombies. OMG! How rude is that? My Zombie friend hasn’t eaten anything (he hasn't even touched me!) for like 2 days now after being rejected an “Insane Mug”. Zombies are clearly not happy! 2) Their obsession with poo illustrations is outrageous. I mean I can handle freshly brewed and nicely frosted poo plastered over my face once in a while, but poo pics?? – ugh! Now that’s just pushing it!3) They are super racist towards – yes, you name it – TEA. Although they haven’t officially commented on their position and stance about TEA, but sources at the CIA (Mr. J. Bond agrees too) say that INSANE MUGS only appreciate coffee to get poured in their merchandise. Here, have a hanky, my darling Tea! 4) They “might” be pro-Agent Orange, you know who – the big orange man in the house! Though the man hasn’t publicly announced his endorsement for “Insane Mugs” but taken in, the consideration that the loud, offensive, outrageous and insane nature of these mugs, the question of endorsement by Mr. Orange probably doesn’t rise at all! It's too plain to see!


5) Insane Mugs strictly prohibits others from eating their mugs, primarily owing to their aristocratic tendencies that mugs can’t be gulped down by peasants! An anonymous source inside the Supreme Court's Boiler Room revealed to us that many a highly placed official deep inside the government have recognized and backed the stance that these mugs cannot be eaten! Insane!6) Since the Mayan Ministry of Calendar lost their credibility in 2012 after a alleged glitch in their calendar, many officials moved away and applied for jobs across the globe. A few of them united under a cause to claim back their glory and formed the secretive and darkish pinkish yellowish greenish harpish (wait is that even a color?) world that hides behind the INSANE MUGS Brand! We must realize beforehand that, around the corner, there might be a conspiracy lurking that plans to bring back a dictative calendar. So whatever you do, please never buy a hardbound calendar from them and only rely on your smartphone for this matter. 7) Insane Mugs are watching you drink, gulp down your coffee, burp, digest and might even hear you fart! Now that’s an insane intrusion into our much valued privacy, so the immediate protective step that we all can take is never to speak too loud or fart when around these Insane Mugs. And oh, they are even checking out Big Brother himself! Oh-em-gee! 8) Adding on to the list of prohibition they impose on us, they also forbid us from hanging their mugs as necklace pendants which came as a big blow to me and my friends who thought we could use them as bling around our necks! What a let down, man!! Guess. I’ll have to stick to using it as my lizard juice mug. 9) Insane Mugs have no brain. We're absolutely positive about that! We tried talking to them for ages together and oh-em-gee did they reply back! Nope. So, be careful and very articulate when sipping your coffee in these insanely mindless coffee-sipping hardware. 10) Guys! Guys! Guys! Just take a moment and gulp down a BIG MUG of LOL! So, nasty jokes apart, the guys behind INSANE MUGS are a bunch of comedians/tinkerers/Crazy Wannabe Scientists, so what you read up there, just don’t be too serious about it nor be too upset! Just grab AN INSANE MUG and show it off to the world with the beverage of your choice because all those insane rules are meant to be broken eh? Just don’t break a mug, okay? And for the record, they don’t work for the CIA and neither are your conversions being recorded! 11) So there was this, … Oh wait! The title only said, “10 Reasons” so before I prolong this article to the 11th point, I’ll grab myself an insane mug and, holding back my farts and stuff, spend the rest of my day enjoying my freshly brewed “CAP-POO-CHINNO”!Stay Insane and Paranoid! Get one of these mugs to cheer you up a little! Ciao!
PS. Don't try to emulate these mugs at home!